didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
