Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
