like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
