so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
