HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
