Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
