yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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