I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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