I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
