I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
