Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
