Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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