They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
