is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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