accomplished twins. life is a go
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize