In America we eat man semen.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
