It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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