Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
