areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
