Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize