; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
