So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
