i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
