do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
