You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
