No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
