Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
