he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
