a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just pynch a tree in the face
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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