U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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