Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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