i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
