lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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