doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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