Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
