He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
