We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have already put on my inside pants.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
