Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize