Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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