turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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