My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
