The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
