oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
