Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
