The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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