My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
