I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
