she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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