I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
