dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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