chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
