Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
