I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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