You really coming over, don't trick.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
