did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just found puke in my bra..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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