Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
