i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
