We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize