Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
