Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
