Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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