WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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