So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
